Marla Sloane Ph.D.

The thought of Valentine’s Day conjures up romantic evenings, a candlelight dinner, and long walks with your loved one. It is, without a doubt the most romantic day of the year. So how could you possibly be expected to enjoy Valentine’s Day when you’re alone?  Well, while it might not be all hearts and flowers, you can still spread the message of Valentine’s Day: Love.

Over the years, I’ve interviewed numerous people and asked them what their favorite Valentine’s Day memory was. Surprisingly, very few couples actually mentioned a gift or a special night out. In fact, most of the people I interviewed remembered their special Valentine’s Day by things they did for others. Gifts they gave, whether they were store bought or home made that gave them the feeling of joy and happiness.

A heartwarming Valentine’s Day for Jacque from California, was when she was in charge of bringing little treats for her daughter’s 3rd grade class. After agonizing on what to do, she decided to make the extra firm red Jell-O, and cut them into heart shapes. After running to the store to get more mix, and spending a lot of time cutting out the heart shapes, she was frustrated and wondered why she ever signed up for the job in the first place. Was this a big mistake? When she passed out the treats in school, the kids’ eyes lit up, and their sweet little voices filled the room with laughter and excitement. All the kids loved it! Jacque remembers feeling incredible that day. Her heart was glowing with happiness to see how much those kids loved her little treats.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our daily chores, that we often forget that children need to be remembered too. Teenagers often feel left out on Valentine’s Day, but a handsome Colorado man gave two giggling teenagers a Valentine’s Day they will never forget. Geoff was working on a resort property trimming trees, and noticed there were two smitten teenage girls sitting on the balcony watching him while he was working. Geoff knew he would be finished on February 13th, and thought he would he would surprise them with a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day, and signed it, the tree trimming guy. The girls were thrilled to get flowers on Valentines Day, and were still talking about it four years later! Geoff ranks that day as his all time favorite Valentine’s Day!

Making someone happy (especially when it’s unexpected) has a euphoric effect on you too. It’s happiness shared twice. Is it possible to have a happy Valentine’s Day even when you are breaking up? If you have a sister like Linda, you can. Linda’s sister was going through a divorce in February, and she was heartbroken and distraught. On that Valentine’s Day, Linda secretly sent her flowers at her office, and signed the card, “From your Secret Admirer.” As soon as her sister received them she called Linda and said, “Oh my God, you will never believe what just happened, I got these beautiful flowers today, but I have no idea who they are from!” Linda had all she could do to keep from laughing, and giving away her little secret. Linda’s sister went on to say that the entire office was trying to figure out who her secret admirer could be. Linda was happy that she could give her sister a happy Valentine’s Day even when she was facing unhappy times.

Yes, it is possible to have a great Valentine’s Day, even when things are looking a little dismal. Here are a few ways you can share your love this holiday.

5 Ways to the Happiest Valentine’s Day Ever!

1. Send a heartfelt Valentine Card to someone who has really inspired you and tell them how much they mean to you.
2. Make a homemade Valentine Card and send it to your favorite relative you haven’t seen in a while.
3. Send flowers or candy to someone who doesn’t have a sweetheart, and sign it anonymous.
4. Make a Valentine’s Basket and send it to a family that has gone through a difficult time and sign it, From Your Guardian Angel.
5. Take your little niece, nephew, or cousin out for ice cream.

Giving is the fastest way to feel good about yourself. It doesn’t have to be expensive, even a single hand picked flower will do. Anything coming from the heart will surely be felt and appreciated. It’s two gifts in one. One is for the recipient and even a bigger gift for you.

Marla Sloane, Ph.D.

Marla Sloane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved © 2009

The holidays are here, you’ve got company coming, a lot of gift wrapping to do, and festivity is in the air … but you are STRESSED! With so much work to do, people to accommodate, and worrying about Uncle Bob getting along with Cousin Debbie, there is no wonder why you are stressed out. Here are some tips you can do to ease the holiday anxiety, and even enjoy the holiday season!

1. Delegate Work. Instead of doing it all like, preparing the food, cleaning the house, picking people up from the airport; allow someone else to pitch in. This will ease up on your workload and the participants will feel good that they could lend a helping hand.

2. Keep Things in Perceptive and Lighten Up. It is okay to be you, and not Martha Stewart. The main objective of the holidays is to gather around family and enjoy the time together. If you are so worried about the size of the turkey, or the color of napkins, and having things perfect, you are missing the point. The best entertaining tip is to enjoy your company and make them feel welcomed. Everything else is secondary. No one will care if the mashed potatoes are a little lumpy. They will care how much you were looking forward to seeing them!

3. Short and Sweet. It is okay to put a time limit on your visit. If your husband can’t stand Uncle Richard, and you aren’t too crazy about him either, it is smart to give yourself a time frame, so only stay for 2 hours instead of 5 hours. You can say that you have another commitment and you are sorry to have to leave so early but the short time (in a difficult situation) is much sweeter when it isn’t dragged out.

4. Meditate. Do a quick meditation before you start your day to keep yourself grounded and centered. Close your eyes, relax, take 3 deep breathes, and focus on your breathing. Nothing more. This exercise will clear your anxieties. A clear mind releases stress and can get more accomplished.

5. Keep the End in Mind. If you have to rearrange your schedule, and it is a bit of an inconvenience, remember it is only temporary and look for something that you do enjoy about the change. It could be fun having a bunch of sleeping bags full of cute kids in the living room.

6. Keep Your Conversations Appropriate and Safe. I think all of us have experienced a negative remark about a relative, or a heated debate about a controversial topic. The secret to good conversation is to stay away from 3 topics: sex, religion, and politics, and to engage in talking about positive things. If the conversation is headed in an area of heated dispute, gently change the subject, bring up the weather, the movie you just saw, the book that is on the best seller list, etc. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”

Believe in the magic of the holidays and remember their significance: to enjoy loved ones, to be grateful for all the wonderful blessings you have, and to celebrate Life!

You are where you are at today because you manifested it. Your thoughts, your beliefs, and your past experiences have influenced your choices. Even your childhood upbringing has an important role in your present life. If you find yourself wanting more out of life, or if you don’t like where you are at today, you can do something about it. You can reprogram your psyche to change your world. You had the power to get you where you are at today, and you have the power to get you to where you want to be.

Change your thoughts, your thinking process, and you will change your life.

I will be teaching a free teleclass on October 22, 2008 on this very topic at a new affiliate  theself helpschool.com Just click and sign up. This free teleclass will help you discover techniques that will change your life forever. Hurry and sign up today, space is limited, it will be fun!

Dr. Marla         http://www.theselfhelpschool.com/marla.html

I am often asked the question: “How can I obtain happiness?” Many of us are overwhelmed with work, getting dinner ready on time, paying bills, meeting deadlines, rushing kids off to school, etc. But, who is really putting the pressure on us?  Can it be that we are our worst enemy? We can be so caught up with the drama of life that we fall out of balance and focus on all the things that are pleasing others, and then we are left feeling empty, irritable, and exhausted. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Here are some tips to get back in balance and start enjoying life.

1. Get Organized
When you are organized, you will save time and energy. You will get more done in less time and you won’t have that feeling of being pressured.
2. Don’t Overdo it; It’s Okay to Say No
If you really don’t want to do something in your already full schedule, just say no. It’s really that easy. For all you people pleasers out there, I know this will be a difficult task, but a sincere no is always better than an insincere yes. If you are in a position where you have to get things done regardless of your schedule, prioritize, then delegate the work out. Make sure you choose competent people to get the job done right. A good team is invaluable and frees you up to do the things you want to do.
3. Love Freely
Giving and receiving love is probably the most important element in achieving happiness. It has been said that we are motivated by two emotions; love and fear. If we choose to bring more love into our lives, we are happier, healthier, and fulfilled.
4. Trust Those Who are Trustworthy
When someone disappoints us, or let’s us down, we can get so hurt that it can cause us to go into a depression. It is extremely important to know who your enemies are, and who your friends are. Do not trust people who frequently disappoint you or sabotage your happiness (even if it’s family). Look for those who are loyal, responsible and who can be trusted.
5. Have Faith
I had the opportunity to interview many people throughout the years, and I found that the people, who were the happiest and most successful, were those who had a strong faith. Connecting to your spirit has a profound effect on how you cope with life.
Prayer, meditation, and acknowledging your spirit helps give you insight to resolving the daily problems that arise. It is best to resolve the small problems now before they grow into bigger ones later.

Try these tips and see if you can make a difference in your life. Don’t forget to remain positive, and surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Remember, life is as easy or as hard as you make it to be. There is no place like you!

Dr. Marla