Battling the Bully
July 16th, 2010 // 4:48 pm @ marla
It seems like bullies are everywhere, from school, to work, and maybe even in your own home. The definition of a bully is: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. It is interesting to note that a bully never picks on anyone his own size, which is an indicator that bullies are almost always insecure, narcissistic, and have some anger issues. Nevertheless, why is it that bullies are allowed to continue with their abusive behavior? I can give you three reasons for that:
1. The bully’s family is in denial.
2. The bully’s parents lack good parenting skills.
3. Everyone is too scared to stand up to the bully.
Because of these three elements, bullies are allowed to intimidate and terrorize the victim. Years ago a bully was usually a male. I hate to report this, but females have joined the bully list too. Statistics report that the number of female confrontations in the workplace has grown.
So how can we deal with a bully and not get knocked in the teeth while doing so? Remember the definition: a bully is someone who picks on someone who is weaker. The best solution to fighting a bully is to be stronger. I do not necessarily mean physically stronger, although that is not a bad idea, I mean emotionally stronger. The best defense against a bully is your brain and your mouth. Bullies are afraid of being caught.
Here are three good ways to fight off a bully.
1. Communicate your feelings. Tell the bully he is hurting your feelings or what he is saying is incorrect.
2. Give the bully some solutions to the problem and tell people around you what is going on.
3. If the bully continues, then report him to the authorities.
We all have to start becoming emotionally intelligent. If we can start thinking with our hearts and raise our children to do that too, we just might win the battle of the bully!
Marla Sloane Ph.D.
Category : Articles &Blog &Life Coaching
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July 4th, 2010 // 2:19 pm @ marla
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Category : Featured &marlasloane-slideshow
